So yeah, as of tomorrow night I'm in ATL for good. Yay:) More details to follow.

My sanity, according to the internet:

Although your scores were generally quite good, you scored well outside the normal range in at least one category. This suggests that you should probably consult with a mental health professional for further testing or treatment. There is most certainly a professional out there who can help improve the symptoms you are experiencing.

The following are the areas of concern detected by the screening:


You show strong signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
You show signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
You appear to suffer from panic disorder with agoraphobia.
Your responses indicated that your relationships are at least in some way dysfunctional, and may be causing problems in your life.
You appear to experience symptoms of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. See a doctor to rule out physical causes.
Your responses strongly indicate that you suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder.
Your responses strongly indicate that you suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder
The test also detected symptoms of one or more disorders that did not meet all the criteria, but that may still merit treatment.

The following are the areas of concern detected by the screening:


Although you meet the criteria for the frequency of symptoms, your symptoms do not appear to be severe enough to meet the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder.
You have experienced symptoms of a manic episode.
Although you meet the criteria for the frequency of symptoms, your symptoms do not appear to be severe enough to meet the criteria for Bipolar disorder.
You experience some symptoms of Simple Phobia.
You experience some symptoms of Social Phobia.
You appear to suffer from some symptoms of Dependent Personality disorder.

I've lost weight again...

I'd love to say it's due to a healthy diet and exercise. Not so much...
I would even be ok with saying I was on one of those stupid ephedrine pills, or "herbal replacements". Not so much...
In fact I have absolutely NO clue why I've lost weight. It just...disappeared. Yes, I can hear the girls hating me from as far as California - that damn cursed state - and I'm NOT complaining at ALL, but it's not quite so simple. This happens occasionally. I live my normal little life, and suddenly I start noticing I'm thinner than I used to be. Sure, it's great, it kicks ass, blah blah blah. But the thing is, I will probably gain all the weight back and more, because for every time I LOSE weight effortlessly, I will soon enough regain all the weight and MORE regardless of what I try.

I don't even know why I'm ranting about this. I think it's because I'm not really awake yet, and I can't think straight for the first hour in any given day...yeah...

I'm going back to bed.

I need two things in Atl rather badly:

1. A job, duh. Until I find one I'm making the relatively short, but still painful drive between Nashville and Atlanta twice a week. I'm an Admin Asst. with two years experience, 40 wpm, and proficient in Microsoft Office. (That's the super short version.) I'm experienced in the Entertainment/Media field, but I'm pretty flexible. I'd prefer to work in South Atl or Union City/whatever is nearby that I don't know about yet, but if the job is worth it I'll drive as far north as Roswell. If you know of any openings, please let me know.

2. My 3 beautiful, spoiled rotten bunnies need a temp home. For now they are staying with a friend here in Nashville, but if I start a new job in two weeks like I'm hoping, they will be here for at least two months before I get my own place. If you have any suggestions at all, I'd appreciate it. I really don't want to leave them up here for so long.

Something to amuse you all. Here's what started this little diatribe, and following is the response:

Mr. A J Gentile,

I am writing this letter - err, post - to you today regarding one post on www.ajgentile.typepad.com, or more specificaly, one post dated August 27th, 2005, and titled "The Bunny Suicides".

I am speaking on behalf of my clients: Sir William, Princess Diana(alias "Baby Bunny"), Sir Hastings, Squire David, and Squire Waldo. Anything said hereafter is typed at their dictation and does not reflect my own opinions in any way.

My clients have found your post offensive and discriminating. They say that to show online various cruel and alarming ways to kill a Rabbit is a threat to their safety and their rights as Rabbits to have a peaceful existance in this country. Even further, they find it insulting to imply that Rabbits as a race are less intelligant than humans. It is their wish, therefore, that you remove immediately these tastless cartoons, and replace them with an apoligy not only to my clients, but to all the other rabbits happily blogging online with no malicious intent. Your cooperation in this matter is vital. If neccisary, my clients are prepared to take full legal action. Thank you.

Sincerely,
GoddessAradia
Legal Advisor
Bunnies Against Descrimination (B.A.D.)

P.S. Can we go have sex now?



Dear GoddessAradia:

My attorneys, Dewey Cheatham & Howe, have recently instructed me that my post should not be construed as cruel as bunnies, quite frankly, are delicious.

Being high in protien and low in carbohydrates, bunnies are are an excellent option for Atkins and Long Beach dieters.

Additionally, bunnies contain an extraordinary amount of trichetonal and pharmetcline. The consumption of these compounds has been proven to illicit powerful and long-lasting orgasms.

In that regard, my representatives have advised me that, yes, we can go have sex now.

Respectfully,

AJ Gentile
Eater of Bunnies


Dear Mr. AJ Gentile,

Due to your uncooperative attitude towards my clients request, I regret to inform you that we are taking this matter into our own hands. My clients have already defecated throughout your property and plan to commence chewing up your shoes and important paperwork as soon as they learn how to drive a car. Please keep in mind that this does not mean negotiations have ended, but that we simply do not respect your idea as to the purpose of rabbits on this planet. Also, in regards to your notes on the nutritional value of eating rabbit, your point is void, as only wild rabbits have these benefits, and wild rabbit is tasty; tame rabbit is not. Please consider these points carefully before further advocating the destruction of our race.

I'll catch a plane to LA today for that sex.

Sincerely,
GoddessAradia
(B.A.D.)


Dear GoddessAradia:

I have chosen to take your considerations and suggestions under advisement.

However, I have been instructed by a representative of the American Male Institute that I shouldn't give you any answers until after the sex.

Cordially,
AJ Gentile
Haver of Intercourse


Dear Mr. A J Gentile,

My clients have agreed to your terms.

Sincerely,
GoddessAradia

I'm not dead folks. I'm just sick. I have the flu....in June....Ironically the timing couldn't have been better. I got 60 hours further into the maze that is Kingdom Hearts, 120 hours total, and I'm still not done. To make things worse, the phone isn't much use for making or receiving calls, so my job got a bunch of calls from people wanting to know if I'm dead. SO - I'm not dead, just rediculously obsessed with a video game. Oh yeah, and I have the flu... A better update will come out when I have time.

I found this thanks to WalkingBear....www.bash.net....God this is funny....

you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
the Trix rabbit, for example
I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
"silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
"Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
NO.
I'd be thinking
"that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
not me
I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
I mean, I eat when I get up
but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
don't give me that shit.
Back to stupid cereal mascots...
Lucky Charms.
FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
C'mon now, Lucky.
I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
....
KILL THEM, BITCH!
I dunno why I went off on this rant here
it's just always bothered me."

Kingdom Hearts and Balders Gate: Dark Alliance.

Yes, my latest addiction is a video game. This isn't a new thing, really, but something I pick up every few months...until I start losing my eye sight and my thumb falls off. Then I have to take a break. Video games - like books and DnD - tend to suck me in, eating away at my soul until there is nothing but the controller, the TV, and me, jaw clenched, thumb sore, back aching, on the edge of my chair, holding my breath while I fight demons and angels alike..........I heart video games.

Boredom and the absence of the latest Grand Theft Auto game at our local video store led me to rediscover Balders Gate, this time on PS2 rather than the computer. (We own all the comp games.) I gave it a surprising thumbs up. The rules and fighting were "meh" at best, but the overall setup was more true to the spirit of DnD in my opinion. The stupid exploding barrels pissed me off though.

Now I have discovered the missing link between me and Final Fantasy. I have tried in the past to like the damn series, but all it did was annoy me until now. I began my journey into the world of fantasy and rpg with only a nintendo, and a friend who had just gotten an N64. I have always been behind the times in the gaming world. I didn't discover DnD until 3 years ago. I kind of like it that way though. It gives at least a few months for the hype to wear off - and the price to go down - on any system or game I buy. Now my thing is to rent video games at the local movie place. On our last trip I found Kingdom Hearts, and it looked innocent and fun though rather easy. I was really expecting almost a childs game, with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy as main characters. Instead I found something that makes me want to play FF10, which will in turn make me want to play the other games. But first I must defeat this one, and Hercules decided to run away leaving me alone to kill a giant three-headed dog who's name I can't spell. In other words, the game isn't so simple as I thought.

Now all I want to do is go home and play my game...and have sex, but that's another post.

P.S. We finally bought a wireless controller. Unfortunately, this means that there is now nothing to stop me from becoming totally addicted to any game I start playing.

I'm still processing and putting the weekend together in my head. With only four hours of sleep on Thursday, and not another moment of shut eye until Sunday night, the weekend was obviously a busy one. I didn't exactly INTEND to go so long without sleep, but it just sort of...happened that way. The party started Friday, quieted down Saturday afternoon, and picked up again that night. We left Sunday morning though the party was still going on. I met some wonderful people, had some wonderful experiences, and learned a lot of new things. I also dealt with my fair share of drama and the consequences of pushing myself a little further physically than I probably should have. Now, just as things are starting to settle from the party, I can look back on the weekend with a little distance and see what really went on. As the dust settles and my fuzzy thoughts clear up, I can see I've only one real problem as a result. We have to move, and we have to do it asap. This is really only because of bills and job changes and how much this limbo we're stuck in sucks. Whatever the case, we must replace doors, buy baseboards and paint, paint rooms and refinish floors asap. The house needs to be on the market in two weeks, and we need to move in a month, whether the house is sold or not. Now I don't really know how any or all of this is going to get done in said time period. Not to mention I've got to organize a garage sale to get rid of all our stuff before we go, oh yes, and find a job, and get the lease on that apartment. I'll figure it all out somehow, but I'll warn everyone now that it's all I'll be thinking about until we're settled in Atlanta. (If that blessed day ever comes.) Wish us luck...we're gonna be hella busy for a bit.

Oh boy oh boy, where on earth do I begin???

Work this week has been busy but good. Any possible disasters were eliminated, or at least proved to be someone elses fuck up - not mine. Now I sit here on my do-nut (An inflatable tube thats supposed to fix my tailbone) at work, bored to tears, and just ITCHING to leave so I can pack up the car and head out to ATL!

Our rather last minute decision to even bother coming down with so little time seems to have been a good one. At the ABSOLUTE last minute, a co-worker asked Gabe if he wouldn't mind switching shifts with her, and now we have another 12 hours to enjoy:) I know, I know, I'm awfully giddy about a three day trip just a few hours away, but I have a yearly regimen of road trips that must be filled or I get roadtripitis and do something crazy like disappear to Baltimore for ten days without warning. I must have some saggi in me somewhere, or maybe it's just my normal beautiful kitty self itching for adventure.

It never fails that if take the time to plan a trip out in detail the way I like, the trip will be fun. It also never fails that when I rush to throw something like this together last minute, and don't worry about the details or conflicts, I have even more fun. THIS particular trip promises to be a real treat, since I've managed to follow the best packing strategy: Grab stuff, throw in bag. When in doubt, leave it and buy it when you get there.

I suppose the sudden and rather extravagant party being planned in our honor helps with the excitement. The friends we are staying with have impeccable hosting skills, and besides housing us at no cost - though we'll do whatever we can for them in return - they have planned a mind-boggling line of events beginning tomorrow evening. From one club to the next, and finally to their house for an after-party. Along we will go for the ride of our lives, I'm sure, and God/dess knows we need it after all the overtime and home-repair we've been doing lately! On top of that, it's getting more and more difficult to have any fun in town. I just found out that the only half decent club in town closes after tonight. Most of the people we used to hang out with, we've stopped speaking to. I don't mind this, persay, but it still gets lonely.

In any case, I'm just giddy, and only two hours to go....

Life...is good.

I once thought that it wasn't, when I was wrapped up in reputation and financial advancement. Hell, I thought life sucked supremely and unlike any other suckyness on the planet. Thankfully I stuck it out. Now...Life is just damn good.

Yay! Roadtrip!

I'm absolutely giddy with excitement. Gabe and I are traveling to ATL Thursday. We don't have much time there, but it's enough to check out our future home and see some old/new friends. I'm seriously wondering if we'll come back when we're supposed to, in time for Gabes shift Sunday morning, or if he'll blow it off last minute since I'm off till Tuesday. It's not like he hasn't sacrificed his soul to the damn company. (Rather, dozen of hours of free labor and management at only entry level pay.) If they didn't have such a strict call out policy, (One must cover ones own shift even if said person is in the ER, or say...AT THE HOSPITAL WITH HIS WIFE WHO JUST HAD A MISCARRIAGE RIGHT BEFORE BIRTH!!!) and if we didn't live in the bible belt where everyone goes to church on Sunday, I'm sure he'd call. It would be the first time he's called out of work for false reasons since....6 years ago. ooooooo I hate his job right now.
But, I'll live. I'm sure we'll both return exhausted, but we'll have a hell of a time while we're there. First, though, I must survive the extra work load this week which I gladly accepted in return for having Friday off. Time moves so damn SLOWLY when a roadtrip approaches.

(Oh, btw, said person at hospital with wife was not us, but a coworker, and I'm STILL pissed that the damn company couldn't cut him some slack!)

Some of them do anyway....whatsherface actress left The O.C., the grand finale being "Marissa" dying in a car wreck, and I've never been happier. I might start watching again now that I won't be screaming at the tv the whole time. " You STUPID STUPID cunny!!! Oh my GOD you are SO FUCKING DRAMATIC!!!" Ahh...blog therapy is good for the soul.
After reading some yahoo article about *Gag*Brittany Spears*Gag* I managed to accidentally find her "official website". It....it's funny. Apparently her baby - you know, the one she almost dropped AGAIN today? - is her new religion so she's stopped studying the Kabbalah. (This translates "I'm too rich and important to do that much work.") I can only wait until the day her children are 18 and on the front page of every paper.

Someone should pay me to read celebrity news MY way. Yeah.

Da Vinci Code made its crash Landing at Midnight. I believe Ein Mclellan is my new hero. When asked in an interview if he would be upset by a disclaimer stating the movie was fiction, his reply was roughly "I don't know. I always thought the Bible should have the same disclaimer on the front." God bless Gandalf.

Most of the world lies in wait for..."The Weekend" a popular new flick about folks who are given two days off a week and what they do with their time.
Ok, not so much, but I'M itching for the weekend to start, and of course I had to volunteer to work late today, which means two more hours left.

Ok, must go make plans for Atlanta Trip - yay!

I think I've got one, but it might just be allergies...three days of this crap and I still haven't figured it out. It's a strange and challenging task to hide the fact that you're sick from your boss, but if mine finds out that I'm sick, I get sent home till Monday, and while I have paid sick days, I hate missing work just to sit on my ass and fret about whether I'll be fired when I return.
So, I took a benadryl, the obvious solution...ok, so maybe it wasn't too wise to do so when I had six hours of work stretched out before me. I'm proud that I've stayed awake this long, and I can breathe again too! All I can think about is that beautiful bed in my house, and filling it with food and beverage, husband and an ashtray for the night. 2 Hours to go, and all I can think about is how the hell I'm gonna get home without wrecking my car...
I've gotten to the "Moron" stage, where all my thoughts and words take forever to form. I'm tired, cranky, bored...I think it's time for a H.A.L.T.
HUNGRY
ANGRY
LONELY
TIRED
Yup, I've got H.A.L.T. problem all right. Time to find bizarre ways to stay awake until 6...like blogging about nothing.
I understand HTML, I think, thanks to Myspace and my desire to make my page look a little less...plain, which it still does compared to others fancy-shmancy backgrounds and glitter comments - GOD I hate this new glitter crap! - but at least I've got an internet pet now and a quiz or two...
Packing is going well and progressing very nicely. At this rate, ATL by July looks entirely possible, which makes me happy cause...well...fuck this state. Leaving my job is really my only regret, and only because I really like my boss and don't want to screw him over by leaving suddenly. The promise of better pay and a job more suited to me keeps me moving forward.
I'm going to get a second piece of cheesecake now...I think I deserve it.

From the depths of avaya comes...."Rant, in E Minor"

I don't like Jellyfish, but I like them more than I like Bush, or at least more than I like the President and less than I like the pussy. That all makes sense in my head, but on paper it looks like something W. would write. If another W. prototype takes over next term, me and most of my associates are moving to Canada - before they close the border, that is. I hear Canada is an ok place to live, but I'd rather move to Atlanta and stay there at least a few years. I like girls in "that way" as much as I like boys, but I don't have many female friends because I find most women quite annoying. I care about my appearance...sometimes, though generally not. I figure if I care about you enough to care what you think, then you've probably seen me looking better than today, and won't care. I'm smart too...sometimes. Sometimes I make a complete fool out of myself. I can be clumsy and fall up the stairs, and catch the phone you toss me without looking, all in the same hour. I'm wishy-washy. Deciding where to eat is a painful and slow process, but something I must do if I want to avoid McD's, and therefore death. (Because that is exactly what their food is, incarnate.) I like having friends, but I prefer to stay at home after work. I used to drink a lot, and then I got tired of it. Now it seems I can't drink "enough" to satisfy my drinking companions. Hangovers don't hold the appeal that they did in high school. I'm a pagan agnostic. I consider myself...learning. It's taken four years for me to read Tarot or "cast a spell" - not what I call it, but ok - without constantly second guessing my ability. I'm YOUNG, and I know it. But the other 21 crowd around seems a bit behind on the maturity level there. Maybe I'm just hanging with the wrong people. My youth is my greatest asset and my biggest flaw, I think. I like bunnies, but less than people think. I like eating wild rabbit - it tastes good - but farm raised rabbits being killed for fur and food in the manner that they are is wrong. At least wild rabbits get a chance to escape, and if they don't, such is the cycle of life. I've thought about becoming a vegetarian, for my own sake, but pasta and stews don't taste the same...and I couldn't eat bacon, or hamburgers... I like my spaghetti with cheap tomato sauce and an equal portion of parmesan cheese. I heart cheese. Occasionally I will substitute the extra cheese for some REALLY good HOMEMADE spaghetti sauce, but lots of cheese will still be needed. I love what Americans call "Mexican" even though it's only reminiscent of that culture. I like my bacon limp and salted before, during, and after cooking. I like blogs and blogging, but I don't really know why I blog. I lost all expectations of "fans" and "interesting debates" some time ago, and I'm happy to just rattle off what's on my mind to whoever is bored enough to listen. I suppose I could do this in private on the home computer, but the keyboard is cross-wired so "I'm bored" comes out as "UIO'"NM, vbniopertwersdf" and that is not legible. Sometimes I feel that life has treated me well, and that the trials I've experienced have taught me many valuable lessons that some others may not learn for several years. But there are days when I wonder if I'd rather be wondering around, blissfully innocent and naive, with the picture perfect childhood and perfect parents...But those days are rare, which is good cause that isn't going to happen. I wonder sometimes about the end of the world, with all the drama and shock value it carries. I worry about 2012. I want to live to be 90, not 27. I like to watch movies. I don't often think before I speak. I think I'm developing a stuttering problem. My body causes more problems than it's sometimes worth, and I really should've gone to get a check up around two years ago, but I'll get around to it. I procrastinate. I don't like doctors or hospitals, because they smell weird, cost money, and are generally used to getting their way - just like babies. Life throws me a lot of lemons, but that's ok cause I've got some salt in the cabinet and Tequila in the freezer. I love children. I LIKE children sometimes, for a little bit. I'm afraid of spiders, dying slowly or painfully, falling from great heights, and being alone. I'm tired of acting older than I am. Maturity and responsibility are important, but do I really have to stay home on the weekends to clean the bathroom? I wish I was more amiable, but I like myself the way I am. I have a few close friends, and they believe I consider them my best friends, but they don't consider me as such, and I never really did either. It just comes out that way, sometimes. I miss having a best friend, but Gabe does a pretty good job of it, though he could use a break from my rambling from time to time. I like drugs and speeding, but I'm terrified of breaking the law. I'm tired of being poor and paying bills, but I want to keep the things I pay bills on. I have a dream job, to own my own playhouse, but I've yet to do anything about it other than plan, and I'm scared no one will take my efforts seriously. I love music, and listening to it is my hobby. I love Star Trek and D&D and other geeky things - like blogs - which, in turn, makes me a geek even though I'm incapable of understanding any math or science beyond Biology and Algebra 1. I like Algebra, but I'm not that good at it. I often hold new acquaintances in very high regard until they let me down, and then I generally don't know what to think of them for abut six months. I'm obsessive about grammar and spelling, so much so that I make some stupid mistakes with my over-thinking. I spend too much time thinking about "what other people think" and I'm working on fixing that. If I care about you, I will do anything for you. I will take all your bullshit and all your kindness. But if I don't care about you, - or if I did and you step all over me - what you say and do will become trivial to me, and I won't waste any time on you. I can be sad; I have issues. Everyone I know has issues, so I'm not special in that regard, thankfully. I used to talk about my problems to work them out, then I started talking about them too much. Now it seems painful to acknowledge their existence. I need a shrink, but I can't afford it and I've yet to figure out what to do about it. I can laugh for hours and have a great time living life, and when I do, I'm very happy. I want to be as organized and hard working as my dad someday, but not yet. I try too hard sometimes to "do what I'm supposed to" soccer mom style, and I run out of steam quickly. I love life, with all its possibilities. I love myself right now too, but that will probably change again someday.

Life lately has been...eventful. It's been good and bad in turn, with lots of plot twists and secrets revealed in between. I can't complain all that much, really, considering the outcome we'll have as a result, but I certainly won't complain when we settle down again into a normal routine.

Spiritually, Gabe - also known as the "H", the "Hubby", the "Husband", and by his real name which I won't use here - and I have been called to arms in one way or another. Our friends and mentors over at the local occult shop have encountered something rather odd: scientific proof - loosely said - of ghosts. One said friend - we'll call him Darth, his nickname - recently started helping an amateur group of ghost hunters in their research. As part of their investigation, Darth and a few other friends traveled with this group to the city cemetery, to see what they could find. They brought with them a priest and several expensive recording devices. Now, of course Darth & friends saw/heard/felt many things that are unexplainable, and their stories are quite interesting. But nothing held a candle to what was recorded. At one set of graves, dating back to the late 1800's, a digital audio recorder was left on while the group studied the graves of a Mother, Father, Sister and Brother. The group identified each family member, speaking the relationship aloud. Later, the audio recording revealed something rather exciting. When Darth announced that he had found the brothers grave - the first to die in the family, the parents were last - a distinct voice whispered "Help me please" into the recorder. It's clearly spoken, easily audible, and it sounds like someone is speaking right into the microphone.

Now, I am a known skeptic. I will happily rip apart any esoteric theory without mercy, until the mundane truth is revealed. Gabe is even worse than I am. Darth tops both of us on the skeptic scale. We sat and went through all plausible mundane theories for what we heard, but nothing fits. The wind? You can hear it in the background. Other background noise? Also can be heard separately. Someone that went to the cemetery whispering in the microphone? Nope, person that was holding it was Darth and I can guarantee he didn't do it. Besides, the voice is far too audible to really be the wind or something else, and it speaks clearly as soon as Darth points out the Brothers grave on the tape. The voice itself gave us all chills. If I can get a copy, I'll post it online for you.

Anyway, we're returning to the cemetery this weekend to try to put the poor soul to rest. Other unexplained incidents have occurred lately, mostly light bulbs exploding and other random occurrences. Whether they're related to said ghost or to Gabes revival of ceremonial study, I don't know. Either way we've got some cleaning out to do.

Physically, I spent the first part of the week looking like an obvious victim of domestic violence. The toppling of a bookshelf over the weekend gave me a busted lip and a nasty bruise on my arm. Falling down the stairs at a restaurant on Sunday, along with one or two other small accidents, ultimately left me feeling like the victim of a car wreck. Fortunately I'm healing rather well, and only that damn fractured tailbone I got while camping is still giving me trouble.

Life in the D/s world has been odd. While we still find time for a tease now and then, we both seem to fall in bed already asleep, or at least far too tired to act on any desires we have. I think we're both about fed up with that pattern, though, and that lifestyle will come into full swing again soon. It's just that everything is moving so quickly, and soon our entire life will be different. Just thinking about the to-do list we have is exhausting. Eventually it will all get done though, and we'll be happily settled in a new home, in a new town, and life will be good.

One more thing: even if you don't like Tool, buy the new album anyway. The jewel case itself is worth the money!

In a few weeks, I will have....nothing, really. It occured to me yesterday just how much we're selling in the moving sale, and how long I'll be bathing with a borrowed towel...cause we won't have any. Yes, we're selling nearly everything.

Older people, people who have lived without, tell us that material posessions hold us back more than they help. Having been totally homeless and broke in the past, you'd think I'd remember this fact. Sadly, I got caught up in the bustle of keeping up with the Joneses, and started actually believing that what I owned defined who I was. Now, after relinquishing the microwave to the Pile O' Shit We're Selling, I find myself relieved. Ok...maybe I should explain the microwave, since it's a great example anyway.
The In-Laws bought us the mw when we moved in together, along with everything else we needed. (Nice folks, though not as rich as they sound...just generous.) I like this mw because I know exactly how long everything needs to cook. That's it folks...I actually tried to convince the H we shoud keep it. You see? I am way too caught up in this stuff, and I realized it about five minutes after I said I wanted to keep it. Screw the microwave, we'll buy another one later.

Another thing the H and I have encountered in our packing adventures is our rediculous need to keep momentos. I am more guilty than he is, as I still have cheap napkins from the sleepover I went to when I was 12. Part of my daunting task - the one I'm tackling tonight, actually - is to Throw the Crap Away. It's gonna hurt, and I know it, but seriously...do I really need to keep that plastic angel that is a memento of something that I don't remember??? After all, while I'm grateful for the many lessons my life has taught me, I can't honestly say I want to be constantly reminded of it. I wouldn't move otherwise. I've lived here so long that every building reminds me of one event or another. It's refreshing to see the H go through the same process. He suddenly finds that the trinkets he's had since he was a kid don't matter much. It's just out of habit that we keep them, like we're letting his 5 year old self down or something, and that's just rediculous. The pictures, however, are going with. I couldn't give those up. In the end, we'll move with some clothes - but not nearly as much as he have now - a box or two of decorations and mementos we truely care about, The H's drumset, the pets, the D&D collection and...well....that's pretty much it. We'll have eachother, and the more stuff we get rid of, the more we realize that's all we really need. With each appliance, each peice of furniture or item of clothing that we sell, we feel a bit lighter and a lot less stressed out. We'll be buying new stuff when we move in to our new place, but much less of it, and we'll buy what we need and really want rather than what we're "supposed" to have. Already, that alone makes the move worth it.

In the meantime, some diety or another has apparently decided that we just HAVE to move to Atlanta no matter what. Everytime we hit a snag, the problem fixes itself. 2 grand behind in bills? My boss just...writes me a check, not a loan. (I have the coolest boss.) Need a big apartment for a decent price? Bam! Three appear in the perfect location. Don't take rabbits? House Rabbit Society steps up and offers to help out anyway they can. Iffy about moving to a place where we know two people? Suddenly we meet lots more, and all of you are awesome! Don't have time to prep the house for selling? People we barely know suddenly show up to help out...I swear, the list keeps going and going...something wants us there, and it certainly feels like the right desicion to us. So, let the Land of Milk and Honey (Atlantas new name after Frolicon:oP) be warned that we are coming, and we will arrive very very soon. I wish we were already there...

God loves me right now.

We'll be house free and even a bit rich by June. Granted we'll be starting with little or nothing possesion wise, but that is what we wanted, and I'll be damned if the universe isn't bendiing over backwards to make it happen without incident.

Goddamnit.

So there I was, a little stoned - on 4:20, of course I was - happily sitting at an intersection and talking to my husband. When the light turned green, the car in front of us didn't go. I waited...and waited...and tapped my horn.

Dude FLIPPED OUT. He flicked me off and started screaming and cussing out the window. I don't think he heard me say "I'm Sorry". Well he speeds into the gas station across the street and almost hits a car, then pulls to the far side and parks his car. Now we were actually going to this gas station, so we pulled in as well and parked on another end. We thought they would just drive off...but no...no, that wouldn't be dramatic enough. Instead they start walkin towards the car looking like they'd like to snap our necks. So we start the car and one guy turns around and starts PULLING OUT A GODDAMNED RIFLE from the back seat of his car.

So we drove fast and called the cops. We turned around quickly to see where they were, but they'd driven off. So the cops meet us at the gas station, and while he's taking the report, they drive by AGAIN. So we get stuck waiting at the gas station, while the cops look for these guys, and we're thinkin' that this isn't gonna get any worse, right? Oh you have no idea...

So while we wait for the cops to come back, we see the guys AGAIN, driving around the intersection looking for us. (And now to abbreviate cause this went on for hours.) We see another car that starts following us around - it wasn't the cops, I assure you - and the first car drives by AGAIN, so we follow it and lose them, and then decide to go wait somewhere else, which we did for a while, until we thought it was safe, so we start driving home - this is all within ten minutes of our house - and the SECOND car starts tailing us, so we drive to Kroger and call the cops back out. They said they keep seeing them and losing them again, and offered to follow us home. We accepted, they followed us home, we thought the whole ordeal was FINALLY over with.

Yeah not so much.

We didn't have any food in the house - which was where we were going before this...draaama happened - so I took H's car, my gun, my sword, and the phone, and braved the open road whilst H napped. I drove to Taco Bell without incident, and like a dunce decided to stop at the same Gas station for smokes, (For the record, this gas station takes 3 minutes to WALK to from our house, and we know everyone there, so we're regulars.) I approach the same goddamned intersection, and guess who I saw??? Same two fuckin guys, and as soon as they saw me they swerved onto the street and started following me. I called 911, cops came out, finally arrested one dude, but the other two are still MIA.

I know I said I'd have something better to write about today, but the universe really played a joke on me this time. Grrr. Must work now - ugh.

This is just insane, you know? Here I am, just weeks away from vanishing. We've been scheming on how we will disappear, and until the last minute, we aren't telling anyone. The day before we leave we're going to drive around town returning and procuring various items. There's just so much to do before then.. We're selling almost everything in the house, and buying all new stuff when we arrive. If I ever find my damn resume, I'll be applying for a great position as Admin Assist in the HR of a company...Problem is, I can't find my damn resume so I can send it in. Grrrrrrrrr. Neither of us have told our jobs, though are families know. God I wish we could leave now.

So why the disappearing act?

I have lived in Tennessee my whole life. I can't go to the grocery store without seeing some old friend or neighbor...My husband has lived here for almost 20 years. We've never lived more than 30 minutes away from our parents. We are part of a large circle of friends, and we are known by many people through work and extracurricular activities. But we just can't take the history anymore.
I have a reputation for being dramatic, naive, manipulative, and rather dumb. I was indeed all of these things....8 fuckin years ago. My abusive mother managed to make most of my home town in suburbia hate me. There are others who were abusive and still appear at Kroger or driving down the road. My "friends" owe myself and my husband oh gee.......thousands of dollars, dozens of dinners and nights out, hundreds of favors...it doesn't end. They have made a habit of coming to our house, watching tv for hours, taking up all the sitting room in the area, and generally acting like they own the place and things we work so hard to keep. We hate our friends, and we want them all to go away.
My husband hates his job as much as I hate mine; he struggles constantly with living up to expectations someone gave him years ago, that before turning 25 he should own a house, be married, well off, with a respectable high end job, and finding mature things to do in his free time...like golf...

We've tried and tried to break pre-conceived notions. We tried talking to our friends about maybe being just a bit more respectful to us once in a while...we've given up, and at the same time, moving to another city a good ways away suddenly became not just entirely possible, but almost...easy.

Ok, I'm done venting. The first post is always the hardest in a new blog. Tomorrow I'll have something better to say.